Update on Life

Well here we are on a new week again.

Man....Yesterday was crazy.

Obviously you recall my slight break down yesterday?

Turns out....he had a lot going on....I mean. ALOT.

He was just looking for an escape....We both know that was the wrong type of escape...but still.

I wish he had told me what was bothering him sooner....

I could've helped more!

I would've stopped all that!

I just didnt know...

I trust him with everything...I guess he just doesn't trust me yet?

:(

He says he didnt want to worry me.

This is never going to work if he can't get over that....

I admit I need to work on it a bit more too, but I wouldn't of hid something like this from him for days like that..

I am at al loss.

I mean...

Yes I am happy that he chose me for an escape.

But...

I don't think it was me that he was after...

You get what I'm saying?

-sigh-

Well...what can I do?

Not much.

Time to Hunt

~ River

Confession

I'm such an idiot...
What was I thinking....
I promised....
He promised....
I cant....Why did I let it get as far as it did?
I'm such an idiot....
We can't.....we promised....I should've just left...
I should've stopped it...
I just wanted to be outside.... and with him...
Why does it always end in that????
Not seeing him hurts so much......
But having this happen every time hurts even more...
We can't keep doing this....
How....how can we stop....
It was only 10 minutes....
and that was all it took...
I'm so stupid...
Do I need to just stop seeing him completely???
Limit it to hi, how are you? okay bye?
Since it seems to go to far whenever it's more than that...
What's the point of even dating then?
Do I need to break up with him??? Is that what it's going to come down too?
I dont want it too...
I dont...
He wont come back if I do...
I dont...
I can't let this keep happening....I just keep breaking promises to myself...
This has to stop...
I know he cares about me.... I've seen it...I know he does...
It's just....everytime....everytime.....
He doesn't just want me..... He wouldn't....he wouldn't act like he cares otherwise....right?
If that was the case he would be alot more obvious right?
isn't it obvious enough already....?
I don't know what to do...
I feel so confused....I know what I should do.....But I don't want to do it....
I really don't want to do it.....
But what else can I do...?
Talking....promises......they mean nothing for this....

.....help....