Rant on Men

They are JERKS!

Completely....

Insensitive JERKS

-stomps-

Honestly.

After finishing Fang (the book, not the guy) I realized there was a reason I stuck with fictional guys for so long.

I'm a total sucker for the strong, dark, silent type in books.

But in real life, I bet it would honestly annoy the crap out of me.

Unless I had lived with him since like, we were little and I was totally used to it.

Seriously though....

Reading Fang (again the book)

It made me realize that I need a guy who can be sensitive when it counts.

It also made me realize that I am a whole heck of a lot like Max. Especially when it comes to Max's feelings for Fang (We're talking on both levels here now. Both me and Max and Fang and - oh never mind)

Really though...

I've had a really tough last couple of weeks, what with my Dad in the hospital AGAIN (he's home now tho :))>

But I find it depressing that I got more comfort from Red and Gray than from Fang (my Fang, not the book Fang)

And when I had my uber breakdown, he didnt even come after me....

Come on....

Sometimes I'll run away just to see if you'll chase after me...

Truth is it really hurt that you didnt call me...couldn't you tell that I was lying?

When those txts didnt go through and I thought you were ignoring me. I felt my heart break (cheesy hush). Like literally. I felt it shatter. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? I know it wasnt intentional...the txts didn't go through. But why hadn't you called me before?

*sigh*

Ever since then it hasn't felt the same...

You wont talk to me..... I wont talk to you...

I feel like you don't care.....

Like i'm just fading into the background again.

It's back to Gray and that pack of Falsefaces

*sigh*

Why cant it go back?

Fly On

~River

Much thanks

I am so extremely tired.

But Last night was absolutely amazing!!!

I love you guys so much :)

My friends all threw a surprise party for my birthday at Red's and Crow's house :)

Everyone was there ^^

Fire, Fang, Red, Crow, Feather, Sand, Wind, and Fang's friend Gray was there too :)

It was so awesommeeeee

Thank you guys so much for all those presents :)

Loves

~River

P.S. I'm so tired.

P.S.S. I'm going to be making my own cook book

Last Night

Well

This is it.

My last day.....

Last 12 hours at the moment actually..

-cant believe it-

Well it's back to being old again :)

I'm really really really hoping i get Robin Hood!!!!!

RAWR

XD

I cant wait till tomorrow!!!!!

Like SERIOUSLY

Im so excited

~River

Well I turn another year older in a few days...

So much has happened D=

My mom sprained her ankle...

I nearly got in an accident....

That was really scary...

REALLY SCARY

-sigh-

I'm putting off my history essay...

I don't want to have to write it on my Birthday....so I really should get it done...

Blah

Have I mentioned that I love Fang? :)

Worries

-sigh-
Today is not going good.
Fang won't talk to me...
I flipped out at lunch because I thought he was cutting himself.
And he laughed...
He's nearly gone sudicial once and anorexic another time.
I just...don't find that funny...
Especially when it comes from him...
But when I told him this, he just laughed at me... How am I supposed to deal with that?
I just left.... I was hoping for a denial...or a sorry....or anything...
Instead I got "oh o.o"

My day just improves from there
We have no money.
We owe a gabillion dollars to a gabillion people
My Dad isnt working alot,
My Mom might loose her job
I have stuff I have to get for school.
This isnt going to work.
And. They aren't worried.
My world is litterally falling apart.
How much longer can we afford to pay for internet?
Or for heat?
How bout food?
I can't see a way out of this....
I can't tell Fang....
He doesnt tell me about any of his family problems.....why should I share mine....
*about to cry*
I'm supposed to be able to tell him everything!!! But he won't tell me ANYTHING!
I thought he trusted me... I'm supposed to be able to just break down and just....lean on him....
but he's so distant now i'll just fall and hurt myself...
Thank God we're still best friends M....
I don't know what I'd do with out you right now :(

~River

Rant of Annoyedness

You know what I can't stand?

Is when Camp messes up, and your parents blame you for it.

That's so annoying...

You know what else is annoying?

Females who you really aren't friends with but you pretend to be anyways.

Screw that DX

They can give it out all the want, but can they take it?

No way.

I am also annoyed with people who you know have something bothering them,

They claim they trust you and would tell you everything.

But they dont tell you.

That.

Is.

So.

INFURIATING.

RAWR

~River

Three M's

I saw M's three things here: Click here Check her out, he's pretty awesome. Anyway, I wanted to answer those questions myself.
3 things people would be surprised to find out about me: I'm not that innocent (hahaha), I honestly hate how much time I spend on the computer, I love school
3 people I'd like to have dinner with: Viggo Mortenson, James Paterson, Fang ^^;
3 things I hate doing: forced chores, homework I dont get, tearing lettuce
3 things I love doing: drawing, roleplaying, doing stupid stuffs with my buddies =D
3 favorite movies: "Dragonheart", "LOTR", "Julie and Julia"
3 things I must have when I leave the house: waterbottle, phone, necklace
3 favorite books: Max, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Hunger Games (but this changes a lot)
3 favorite websites: DeviantART.com, facebook.com, Howlingmoonwolfpack.proboards.com
3 favorite foods: BBQ'd anything, pasta, apple anything
3 favorite drinks: Guava juice, apple juice, rootbeer

Update on Life

Well here we are on a new week again.

Man....Yesterday was crazy.

Obviously you recall my slight break down yesterday?

Turns out....he had a lot going on....I mean. ALOT.

He was just looking for an escape....We both know that was the wrong type of escape...but still.

I wish he had told me what was bothering him sooner....

I could've helped more!

I would've stopped all that!

I just didnt know...

I trust him with everything...I guess he just doesn't trust me yet?

:(

He says he didnt want to worry me.

This is never going to work if he can't get over that....

I admit I need to work on it a bit more too, but I wouldn't of hid something like this from him for days like that..

I am at al loss.

I mean...

Yes I am happy that he chose me for an escape.

But...

I don't think it was me that he was after...

You get what I'm saying?

-sigh-

Well...what can I do?

Not much.

Time to Hunt

~ River